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   Hard times

"O.K. I'm going to have a hard times kvetching period. And for the next 5 minutes I'm going to go bananas."

"The reawakening of hope is never painless. It's like running water over a frozen hand."
- Barbara.Sher		  


The yes but game:
Joe wants to get across a river.

Joe: "I don't have a boat."
Barney: "Mary has one I'll borrow hers"
Joe: "Yes but I don't know how to row"
Barney: "We'll ask Mary to row it for you."
Joe: "Yes but she's very busy."
.........
Joe: "Yes, but I'll get seasick."
...........
Joe: "Yes but I don't want people to see me this way"
etc...

The truth is Joe's not looking for an answer at all.		    


  "The real problem is very deep, painful and complex. It has to do with negative feelings that come up every time you think of going after your dreams.
That's where the arson part of reality. Really is it's not in reality. Its in your feelings. When you say I can't, its impossible. You're actually trying to do something natural but forbidden in our culture you're trying to complain.

But you've got to learn how to do it right.

What you most likely are is scared.
Half of these tips have likely made you hurt mad and scared- its gotten your hopes up. Again. And now you're feeling the pain for all the times you tried and it didn't work. For how hard its been. For the lack of support. For all the time lost. You're feeling fear that you're going to get duped or disappointed again."
-Barbara Sher

  


  Questions:
What is the problem?
Why does that problem make your goal impossible?

I will never make it because:..(be as negative as you can be)...

  


 
If you can, start having fun with your negative feelings.

you've got to let negative attitudes and feelings happen. only then will you be ready for positive problem-solving, planning, and action

But remember: Trying to force a positive attitude is the surest way in the world not to get something done. A negative attitude will get you to do it.

The operative principle is:
Get it off your chest, and get on with it.

NOT
Get it off your chest and give up. (Big difference) 		 


 

To keep your friends from running away from you when complaining, tell them them in advance : "O.K. I'm going to have a hard times kvetching period. And for the next 5 minutes I'm going to go bananas."

During the kvetching period, your friends can:
- Applaud.
- Participate: throw in their own rants
- Show admiration : "You know, you're amazing. How did you do all that?"

Remember to keep working at your goal after the kvetching session. If it makes you give up on your dream something is not right (If this happens, check out the despair-buster page)

Great deeds come from a steady stream of small actions. Those action are performed whether one is sad scared angry or happy.

Acknowledge your feelings but keep on moving.

Some people like to keep a hard times journal. This is especially good if you're trapped in a macho-culture where any form of complaining leads people to look down on you.

In your complaints-journal, Write down the date, what you did / what happened, how you felt. Once you've let off some steam, get back to work.


  




   

"My self-esteem is virtually non-existant today. But I'm not going to worry about it. It's irrelevant. I can work on my comic book without it. I'm a failure. I'm horrible. I'm an abomination. An eccentric man. I'll never make anything out of myself. I acknowledge these feelings I have about myself. And now, I roll up my sleeves and get back to work."



Time to plan a path around the obstacles that make it all look so impossible.

It's time to Brainstorm


Recommended readings:


Barbara Sher
Wishcraft